The light grey clouds were covering the beautiful blue sky and blocking out the warm gay rays of the colossal sun. The sky was overcast.
The brown leaves fluttered down when the cold gentle breeze blew. I could feel nothing but an icy loneliness that fill my heart.With my eyes tightly shut,I started to walk down the memory lane.
I could not believe. It had been a year since she left us. Well, 'She' whom I was referring to is 'My Friend'.
She got many questions from her bosom friends, her classmates, her soul mates asking about a SECRET LOVER..
Her friends: “Do you have a love story during childhood ? ” OR “ Do you have a beau that you wished he become your future husband?” OR “ Why don’t you have a boyfriend ? ”
Being confidence, she replied “ You tell me : why would I have a BF ? I guess you have no answer for my question, but I have answers for yours ;
1. I'm a worshipper. I can't do what displeases my Creator, HE ordered me not to take a bf, so I should obey HIM. ' nor those who take [secret] lovers' surat Al - Nisa - 25
2. I'm a daughter of a man who raised me to be a chaste woman, so I don't want to disappoint him, and most of all, I dont want to disappoint the third man who is my future husband,because I'm preserving myself to him only
3. My mother raised me to be a righteous woman so that I deserve a righteous man she never raised me to be a toy in any boy's hand, but she raised me to complete the Deen of a pious man
4. Besides, I'm not an easygoing girl who would impress with sweet love words, but I'm a Muslimah who is scarcely like a pearl in its shell no one can rival it but a courageous man who would appreciate it and treasure its beauty "
5. I believe that if Allah wills it to be, then He will reunite 'two LOST souls' at the right time, for the right reasons. Until then, sabr is the perfect cure for the longing of the lonely soul., For now, I have to walk alone until Allah send me someone to walk with. And if not in this world, I pray that Allah unites us in Jannah, where there is love with no separation, Forever. 'Glory to Allah, Who created in pairs all things ' - Surat Yaaseen- 36 " - She spoke
Her answers are really simple that I’m sure anyone who hears will understand.
She added more " This dunya is not the paradise. So the most beautiful things in life you won't see with your eyes. Jannah has a price, it’s called SACRIFICE."
Feeling a little bit wondered, I asked her “ Then, what about your friends out there who had a couple, do you still see and consider them as friend ? ”
“ I never think I’m better than anyone else because, from dust I’m and onto dust I shall return.I love them as my friends. I never blame my friend who had a couple. This advice doesn’t mean that I was a pious woman. From my view,For Muslimah, I merely want to say that you’re beautiful. Your beauty is found in how Allah designed you, not from makeup or how many guys like you.! Know your worth. Be that One in Million who love to have the Love of their Lord than the love of a secret lover ” with trembling hands and watery eyes, she replied softly.
There is one thing she really scared of, it’s all about the angel of death. What she stated to me is " You know the angel of death could be standing right beside me, patiently awaiting Allah's command to take my soul and I couldn't even have the slightest clue..."
“I used to pray for answers. But now, I’m praying for strength . Now , I know that prayer changes us, and change things. I believe by the will of Allah,miracles happen everyday” - she sounded out with her eyes downcast.
I looked out the window again, even though there was nothing to see. I watched her for a few seconds,my eyes shut. That moment I knew, when all the girls wanted to be pretty, She wanted to be strong. Just S T R O N G. Because in the end, all she learns is how to be strong alone.
Then, I quickly gripped her shoulder and mumbled: " You have taught me a lot.Thank You. I hope your prayers will heal you, protect you and save you."
Then she smiled.She said in a perpetually tired voice :
" I hope that one day you will find a prince who loves you so much for the sake of Allah, accept every flaw and insecurity you have and show you the beauty in them, for now, please,trust yourself. You've survived a lot, and you'll survived whatever is coming."
Without giving a minute for me to speak, she goes deep into my body, bringing her spirit, her soul lives inside of me. S I L E N C E..
- NAZIFAH SAIMI -
I could not believe. It had been a year since she left us. Well, 'She' whom I was referring to is 'My Friend'.
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